Relocating Day 2 – Carol Jerram
I awoke this morning feeling utter devastation.
I sat listening to the familiar sounds of the tractor in the surrounding fields. I feel sick, what am I doing? This is every persons dream is it not? To be on a Island, living in an amazing house that we built, the freedom and safety for my daughter. The beach at the end of my road. Our own business. So why I am leaving?
I am sat writing this with tears streaming down my face asking myself “am I doing the right thing”? Walking down to my living room that is in complete chaos thinking of all the things I have to sort out, selling all my wonderful things that I have accumulated over the 13 years I have been here, I feel sick, devastated, a failure that I couldn’t be totally happy here, confused!
I have to in the next few weeks get my life in order to be able to take back the bare minimum to be able to travel with a suitcase each for me and my daughter, with the possibility of maybe a couple of extra boxes. How do I do that? How do I decide what to take and what to leave and sell or store?
On top of this I have the added guilt that I am unable to take my animals with me, for those that know me, I LOVE my animals so having to re-home them is tearing me apart from the inside. I have had them since babies, is this all worth it? Who knows? Can someone not tell me that it is all going to work out for the best for us all?
So the day begins and I wonder what will happen throughout the day, I have people coming to pick up things during the day, how am I going to feel, the money is welcome at this time, for me though money is not the important thing, its being happy. Am I going to be happy in the UK? Is Sophie going to be happy? More importantly will Dimitris be happy the time that he is with us?
SOMEBODY TELL ME!!! Am I doing the right thing??
Time will tell I suppose.
Am going to post this and write some more later after day 2 has finished, I knew it was never going to be easy, or straight forward.
This is so emotional though!!
Wishing you all a HAPPY day xx